Between Deadlines & Dreams

Mid-semester updates in my last few months of my undergraduate degree.

It’s mid-semester in New York, and the city feels like it’s both sprinting and standing still. Some days, I’m buried in reading papers and revisiting past analyses; on others, I’m walking home after eating a good, sumptuous dosa at Saravana Bhavan, letting the cool air and jazz ensemble in Washington Square Park remind me that I’m alive and ok.

This semester has definitely been quite strange in its rhythm. It’s been heavy and hopeful, yet restless and grounded all at once.

1. Research/Coursework

For one, my senior project has quietly become the center of gravity in my life. It’s really interesting how a topic of casual curiosity gradually takes over your life :). I’ve been studying copyright/ip law within Indian music–specifically how streaming platforms like Spotify and YouTube shape what we hear, who gets credited, and how the platforms themselves interpret ‘originality’.

There was a point, not too long ago, that I thought it might all fall apart. I hit a major roadblock when I couldn’t get the dataset that I needed. For a few weeks, everything stalled and I felt that all the code that I had written up until then was a waste of time. But then, like most things that test your patience, it found its way through. I finally got access to the data, and my project feels alive again.

I’m working on this project with the help of Professor Mayya, who is a professor of TOPS (Technology, Operations, and Statistics) at NYU Stern. He’s been amazingly helpful since the summer–calm, encouraging, and genuinely invested in my project. Our research meetings are something that I look forward to every week, not just for progress updates but for the clarity and energy that come from talking to someone who truly gets it.

Outside my project, I have a lighter courseload than previous semesters; granted, my senior project itself counts for four credits, so it evens out. Neural Data Science, my graduate-level class, has been an amazing learning experience. The papers, discussions, and coding exercises force me to go beyond my comfort-zone and peak into the machinery of how we understand reality.

2. Life Outside of Work

Life has been quite decent, for the most part, outside of class. One thing that I did consistently in September and Early October was sit by myself a few times a week, without any devices, in Washington Square Park. As cliche as it sounds, it is satisfying to “live in the present” and “absorb all the sights around you”. Unironically, one ends up feeling a lot better afterwards.

And then the biggest piece of news: my first Malayalam film song released in August. It still feels quite surreal to say that. Watching the movie on the big screen with the legend himself, Mohanlal uncle, and hearing my voice alongside him in Sathyan uncle’s film–it is something that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

3. The Things You Don’t Plan For

Not everything this year has been easy however. My grandfather was diagnosed with a terminal illness mid-September and that news hit me harder than I expected.

I knew something was up when my dad called me and told me that Achachan (Malayalam word for grandfather) wasn’t feeling too well; I initially dismissed it as him merely having the flu or a slight fever but my worst fears were confirmed when I talked to my mom. For a while, I lost my momentum. It’s strange how grief makes time blurry and things start to feel important and meaningless simultaneously.

Thankfully, he’s doing much better now. He’s more stable, like himself. And I honestly think that has slowly helped me come back to my own balance too.

4. Looking Ahead

As I write this, I’m three quarters the way through the semester, somewhere between tiredness and optimism. If the past few months have taught me anything, it’s that patience is not about waiting–it’s about learning to keep moving, even when you don’t see where the path leads.

Between my deadlines and dreams, I am gradually learning to pause without stopping.

Till next time.